I love this animated short that a guy's actually used for his marriage proposal.
"You make me feel like a natural..."
31 December, 2006
2006 NYR #1: - to be continued...
What is it? Only the person who was with me last NYE knows.
Looking back at this resolution I don't know whether there is any benefits from completing this resolution. Not completing this might not do justice to myself either...until I complete this...let my name be Edmund Dantes!
...to be continued...
Looking back at this resolution I don't know whether there is any benefits from completing this resolution. Not completing this might not do justice to myself either...until I complete this...let my name be Edmund Dantes!
...to be continued...
2006 NYR #2: Clean up my emotional baggage - Done.
The last two resolutions are rather sensitive ones. They were made when emotions and self-righteousness ran high last new years eve. True, while lacking in objectivity, it is exactly at these moments - when you are blinded by emotions, that your inner self rears itself, unbridled by social conventions and the wellbeing of others.
To sound like a bad horror movie tagline "Id...returns..."
Anyways back to resolution number 2.
I had ended 2005 with a big piece of emotional baggage. I had a crush on a girl ever since first year, something that has haunted me through the years. After getting sick of being such a lamer, on that cold night on NYE 2005, with Elvis as my witness, I vowed that I'd end it. Although I had long given up on the idea, it wasn't until much much later that I finalised it. On some random evening, tired from a long day at work, I decided to just rock up and spill my weepy pathetic guts.
Confessions are always a selfish act. Because the confessor is the only one who gains a sense of peace, at the cost of someone else who now bears your burden. But boy did it feel good :) I guess this is what shrinks call closure. Some of my friends had warned me against it, since it would have achieved nothing as the object of my affection was already attached. But in unwinable situations liket his, suicide is the best way out. "If you love something, set it free". RAGE QUIT!
In all seriousness, it was a comforting to get all of this out of the way. And along the way I've learnt a lot about my failings and in turn begun dealing with them - my shyness and resulting indecisiveness when it came to my emotions, my misguided notions of love and friendship and lastly the lack of initiative in dealing with these problems.
It would be a lie to say that I am now free of emotional baggage, as this year has brought other things to my attention. However this experience has made the hardest moment of my life; Izzy's passing, more tolerable.
Before I conclude this extremely long rant...I'd just like remind the me who's reading over this in the future - never hope in love. Hope only further perpetuates blindness caused by your emotions...while you stumble headlong into a stupidity. Never wait in love either, because the longer you wait the greater then difference in your affection. Lastly always remain honest to your emotions, and do not let social conventions and other people get in the way of your own happiness.
Perhaps Mrs. E Darcy summed it up correctly:
"I have said no such thing. I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me."
NYR #2: Completed.
To sound like a bad horror movie tagline "Id...returns..."
Anyways back to resolution number 2.
I had ended 2005 with a big piece of emotional baggage. I had a crush on a girl ever since first year, something that has haunted me through the years. After getting sick of being such a lamer, on that cold night on NYE 2005, with Elvis as my witness, I vowed that I'd end it. Although I had long given up on the idea, it wasn't until much much later that I finalised it. On some random evening, tired from a long day at work, I decided to just rock up and spill my weepy pathetic guts.
Confessions are always a selfish act. Because the confessor is the only one who gains a sense of peace, at the cost of someone else who now bears your burden. But boy did it feel good :) I guess this is what shrinks call closure. Some of my friends had warned me against it, since it would have achieved nothing as the object of my affection was already attached. But in unwinable situations liket his, suicide is the best way out. "If you love something, set it free". RAGE QUIT!
In all seriousness, it was a comforting to get all of this out of the way. And along the way I've learnt a lot about my failings and in turn begun dealing with them - my shyness and resulting indecisiveness when it came to my emotions, my misguided notions of love and friendship and lastly the lack of initiative in dealing with these problems.
It would be a lie to say that I am now free of emotional baggage, as this year has brought other things to my attention. However this experience has made the hardest moment of my life; Izzy's passing, more tolerable.
Before I conclude this extremely long rant...I'd just like remind the me who's reading over this in the future - never hope in love. Hope only further perpetuates blindness caused by your emotions...while you stumble headlong into a stupidity. Never wait in love either, because the longer you wait the greater then difference in your affection. Lastly always remain honest to your emotions, and do not let social conventions and other people get in the way of your own happiness.
Perhaps Mrs. E Darcy summed it up correctly:
"I have said no such thing. I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me."
NYR #2: Completed.
2006 NYR #3: Find more suitable guidance - Done.
This was a tough one.
Often the best advice comes from someone who isn't close to you but unfortunately these are the last people you'd ask. Naturally would you really want someone not close to you knowing your thoughts? Especially those those causing you such dilemmas?
I have always believed in that rationale, however from experience it has never been optimal, or at times correct. What's more damning is that often others had given better advice (in retrospect), advice that you had ignored.
Throughout this year I've been pondering this resolution, and experimenting with it. When I got to decision in which I needed advice, I'd canvass opinions from both 'close' and just 'normal' friends. Statistically 'normal' friends; friends whom I do not see on a regular basis clearly demonstrated better advice accuracy than 'close' friends. Why is this so?
1. Groupthink
One reason might be the dreaded groupthink. Friends who you see on a frequent basis are often a) at the same events that cause you dilemma or b) under the same influences and stress that you're under (think exams or job interviews). This biases their perception of the problem and makes their judgment (not all the time but most) subjective.
Of course, having subjective assessments of your problem is the reason why you ask people for advise in the first place. The problem lies in the fact that close friends may often hold the same perceptions and opinions, and in relying solely on this group for advice, you do not consider views from others less involved in the situation.
2. They are (close to) the problem.
For me, most of my dilemmas comes from a problem involving people close to me. Because honestly, if you're not really close to someone (or cared that much), you wouldn't think that much about insulting them ;-)
3. They know you too well.
Silly reason, but sometimes people who know your thinking processing take into account your preferences. This isn't necessarily a bad attribute, but sometimes you really just want an impartial opinion...
Conclusion
All in all, I'm not saying that close friends are not good for advise. On the contrary (as stated above) they are great for assessing situations from your point of view. However, relying solely on them for advice will lead to an sub-optimal result. Canvassing a wide range of opinion is the key to making a complex and often non 0-sum decision.
Luckily there is someone whom I trust and who speaks her mind freely; a trait that is rare even amongst friends. I'm value your friendship fairy godmother ;-), your candidness and asessments always bring a new solutions to my problems. Solutions that sometimes I am unwilling to acknowledge myself.
Thanks...for keeping this Fishy sane.
NYR 3: Done.
Often the best advice comes from someone who isn't close to you but unfortunately these are the last people you'd ask. Naturally would you really want someone not close to you knowing your thoughts? Especially those those causing you such dilemmas?
I have always believed in that rationale, however from experience it has never been optimal, or at times correct. What's more damning is that often others had given better advice (in retrospect), advice that you had ignored.
Throughout this year I've been pondering this resolution, and experimenting with it. When I got to decision in which I needed advice, I'd canvass opinions from both 'close' and just 'normal' friends. Statistically 'normal' friends; friends whom I do not see on a regular basis clearly demonstrated better advice accuracy than 'close' friends. Why is this so?
1. Groupthink
One reason might be the dreaded groupthink. Friends who you see on a frequent basis are often a) at the same events that cause you dilemma or b) under the same influences and stress that you're under (think exams or job interviews). This biases their perception of the problem and makes their judgment (not all the time but most) subjective.
Of course, having subjective assessments of your problem is the reason why you ask people for advise in the first place. The problem lies in the fact that close friends may often hold the same perceptions and opinions, and in relying solely on this group for advice, you do not consider views from others less involved in the situation.
2. They are (close to) the problem.
For me, most of my dilemmas comes from a problem involving people close to me. Because honestly, if you're not really close to someone (or cared that much), you wouldn't think that much about insulting them ;-)
3. They know you too well.
Silly reason, but sometimes people who know your thinking processing take into account your preferences. This isn't necessarily a bad attribute, but sometimes you really just want an impartial opinion...
Conclusion
All in all, I'm not saying that close friends are not good for advise. On the contrary (as stated above) they are great for assessing situations from your point of view. However, relying solely on them for advice will lead to an sub-optimal result. Canvassing a wide range of opinion is the key to making a complex and often non 0-sum decision.
Luckily there is someone whom I trust and who speaks her mind freely; a trait that is rare even amongst friends. I'm value your friendship fairy godmother ;-), your candidness and asessments always bring a new solutions to my problems. Solutions that sometimes I am unwilling to acknowledge myself.
Thanks...for keeping this Fishy sane.
NYR 3: Done.
29 December, 2006
A very nerdy poem...
Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
01000001011011000110110000100000011011010111100-
10010000001100010011000010111001101100101
010000010111001001100101001000000110001001100101-
0110110001101111011011100110011100100000011101000110 111100100000011110010110111101110101
Violets are #0000FF
01000001011011000110110000100000011011010111100-
10010000001100010011000010111001101100101
010000010111001001100101001000000110001001100101-
0110110001101111011011100110011100100000011101000110 111100100000011110010110111101110101
28 December, 2006
2006 NYR #4: Get more fit - 70%.
This is very typical all new years resolutions - lose weight, do more exercise etc. This was one resolution I took all the way I think, although I still have some distance (physically and metaphorically) to go. The concept of getting 'fit' is very vague as well, but thanks to Jasper I have this to go by. That's right, my aim is to be fit enough to join the army - 15 push-ups, 45 sit ups and a beep test of 7.5. I haven't tested using the beep test yet, but i'm soooo there already with the others.
Perhaps next year's resolution might be to find an actual places to do the beep test :)
Perhaps next year's resolution might be to find an actual places to do the beep test :)
27 December, 2006
2006 NYR #5: Find a better job - Done.
I used to had pretty sweet job back in 2005 and the beginning of 2006. I worked for a smallish software company, with friendly and bright people. Things turned sour at the end of 2005 when the company board wield the downsizing axe, and in one big swipe laid off some of the friendliest and brightest people of the company. Then afterwards key people began to be laid off, and I was left with a manager from hell. He was fat, lazy, obnoxious, one of those relics from the 90s where middle managable was still useful.
To keep this short, I quit and had to find a new job. And I found it, doing financial research for the uni. It's got better pay, more interesting work and right next to my classes :D
DONE!
To keep this short, I quit and had to find a new job. And I found it, doing financial research for the uni. It's got better pay, more interesting work and right next to my classes :D
DONE!
26 December, 2006
2006 NYR #6: Get better grades - D...
2006 being my last AND honours year, I had to haul ass to raise my marks up for a chance at first class honours. Unfortunately for me, that D doesn't mean done, its just the D average I managed to scrape this session; 1 mark past the honours limit...phew.
For the record, Global Navigation Satellite Systems (COMP9791) by Chris Rizos is a total waste of time. So is Intelligent Agents (the reading version).
Well I guess I kind of passed this objective...I'll have to follow through next year.
For the record, Global Navigation Satellite Systems (COMP9791) by Chris Rizos is a total waste of time. So is Intelligent Agents (the reading version).
Well I guess I kind of passed this objective...I'll have to follow through next year.
25 December, 2006
2006 NYR #7: Get back into the music - Done.
Music has always given me solace in my darkest hours, but for some reason I had stopped playing and listenning to a music. This year has seen a great revival in this area; playing my violin whenever I get the chance and rocking to the MP3s everywhere once I got my new phone.
Notable music rocked to this year: Evanescence, Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, The Veronicas, I don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith, Mad World - Gary Jules, When you say nothing at all - Ronan Keating.
Notable soundtracks: Hellsing OVA, Melody of Oblivion, Vanessa Mae, Goten Project (Tango), Carlos Libedinsky (Tango).
P.S. Girls, in regards to Ronan Keating's When you say nothing at all, it doesn't mean guys want you to shut up! Not all the time anyways... ;-)
Notable music rocked to this year: Evanescence, Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, The Veronicas, I don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith, Mad World - Gary Jules, When you say nothing at all - Ronan Keating.
Notable soundtracks: Hellsing OVA, Melody of Oblivion, Vanessa Mae, Goten Project (Tango), Carlos Libedinsky (Tango).
P.S. Girls, in regards to Ronan Keating's When you say nothing at all, it doesn't mean guys want you to shut up! Not all the time anyways... ;-)
Blog redemption.
I know I've slacked off for the last few months (sorry Elvis and Kath) in terms of posting things OTHER than online videos (but you got to admit they are funny!) So in an attempt to redeem myself I've decided to 'review and evaluate' all the New Years resolutions I made last year, everyday until the new year.
Before we do that...one last video...
Before we do that...one last video...
04 December, 2006
Sexual Consent
Here's video called Sexual Consent from Jason Reitman about establishing sexual consent...its very funny in a lawyer / absurdist kind of way :)
30 November, 2006
27 November, 2006
25 November, 2006
Interesting comments?
Pat sent me this entry from the Daily WTF :) Have you ever put dodgy variable names and code into something just to spike your boss? or out of boredom? Hehehe...I have...
22 November, 2006
Got M...?
Xeni posted a video of a fountain in Guatamala. The video isn't that interesting...but the immature part of me is screaming GOT MILK??!!
21 November, 2006
20 November, 2006
17 November, 2006
Pandora Internet Radio
Jasper introduced me to the Pandora Music Genome Project today. A music recommendation project that also does streaming. It asks you for artists that you like then plays you music with similiar properties, then asking you to rate them. This system is perhaps the best implementation of the old MIT music recommendation project Ringo (for those who are too young back them, it was done in the 90s).
For those who are interested in its technicals, these systems are classified as recommendation agents (in the field of Intelligent Agents). They work by calculating the k-nearest neighbours in the hypothesis space. For a more detailed look at the implementations, search for papers by Pattie Maes of the MIT Media labs.
I recommend you guys all try it! It's pretty good in its predictions!
For those who are interested in its technicals, these systems are classified as recommendation agents (in the field of Intelligent Agents). They work by calculating the k-nearest neighbours in the hypothesis space. For a more detailed look at the implementations, search for papers by Pattie Maes of the MIT Media labs.
I recommend you guys all try it! It's pretty good in its predictions!
09 November, 2006
08 November, 2006
07 November, 2006
06 November, 2006
05 November, 2006
The truth about Bob and Eve
Hahaha Alex posted this on the crytography forum. It's so nerdily funny :D For those who're wondering what this is about, many people (especially Scheiner) refer to parties A, B and E when talking about man in the middle attacks and cryptography. That is A wishes to communicate to B, but E is is evaesdropping. For convenience they are refered to as Alice, Bob and Eve. Below is the sordid love triangle.
Sweeeeet sushi!!!!
YouTube ACL test
Let me know if you can see this. Which you shouldn't. If you really want to see this give me your email address.
04 November, 2006
Beat of the drums
Left. Right. Left, right. March!
*Subjected to LCM theorem, period depends on the coprimeness of the beats.
Hmmm to counter this sudden seriousness, here's something from David -
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer." -Henry David ThoreauThe above quote is from Ania. No, I haven't gone all mushy and philosophical. It just struck me as a beautiful way of embodying individuality. It is also symbolic of friends and friendships. Some people are 4/4s, others 3/8ths. Some syncopated, others with a strict beat. Sometimes as your friends lives change; whether it would be work or going overseas, so do their beat. It is natural to go out of sync. But you know that once in a while*, your beats will match and those are the moments to live for.
*Subjected to LCM theorem, period depends on the coprimeness of the beats.
Hmmm to counter this sudden seriousness, here's something from David -
03 November, 2006
Why DnD players should not be allowed outside...
...or should be kept in remote forests...
I'm going to cop so much crap for this...but I don't care! Lighting bolt!
I'm going to cop so much crap for this...but I don't care! Lighting bolt!
01 November, 2006
Can you tell what someone is thinking by their eyes?
Someone from my security subject posted this link regarding Asperger's Syndrome, a condition where the person cannot identify the feelings shown by another person. Man I scored 20, which is below the threshold of 21 (for asperger's) and 26 (for normal people).
Let me know what you guys get :)
Let me know what you guys get :)
31 October, 2006
30 October, 2006
Dove - Evolution
Hi all, Nick here.
This is my first post.
I'm doing a feminism essay and found this cool video.
This is my first post.
I'm doing a feminism essay and found this cool video.
22 October, 2006
20 October, 2006
At last! Manual controls for the Macbook Pro fans!
Yippie!!! Someone's written a manual GUI for controlling the Macbook Pro's fans, which are notoriously lazy when it comes to actually working. So rather than a 65 degree "notebook", now I have a laptop that I can actually put on my lap! Yay!
18 October, 2006
Sexy Back
Just found a funky parody of Justin Timberlake's Sexy back song :) Sooo good.
"razorblades... i got 2 wrists that i could slit today... unless that little pill gets in the way.. no other drug can make me feel this way..."
"razorblades... i got 2 wrists that i could slit today... unless that little pill gets in the way.. no other drug can make me feel this way..."
17 October, 2006
12 October, 2006
11 October, 2006
Incredible Machines Part 1
Recently I've taken an interest into some of the machines we use in industry to make some of our are daily essentials; food, electricity, light etc. So I'm going to start listing some funky videos of the machines that made sustaining urbanisation possible.
First in the series is the EZ catch chicken harvester! Yes that's right, it harvests chickens. What you think they catch them by hand?
And on a related note - an automatic shrimp peeler and deveiner!
First in the series is the EZ catch chicken harvester! Yes that's right, it harvests chickens. What you think they catch them by hand?
And on a related note - an automatic shrimp peeler and deveiner!
10 October, 2006
Throwable Rats
Yes you heard me, throwable magnetic rats. This wonderful instruction page tells you how to make your own! They even come with glowing LED eyes!
P.S. Elvis, just though you'd like it ;-) Cyb seem to have a wonderful reaction to it.
P.S. Elvis, just though you'd like it ;-) Cyb seem to have a wonderful reaction to it.
Credit cards hit a new low...
Izzy showed me this today - customisable credits! Imagine it, seeing the face of your beloved (and perhaps starving) family as you buy those new shoes. Or the face of your dear hubby as you take revenge at the mall...isn't that just great? Spending has never been so personal ;-)
Riced up Shaving Cream!
Here's something I found at the supermarket last week...shaving cream now comes in Nitro and Turbo. I'm just waiting for the day shaving cream comes in unleaded and diesel.
New age fashion
Hussein Chalayan showed up some funky animatronic clothes at London Fashion Week. Take a look :) Its the second half of the video. I want something like them! ...Well not dresses but yeah clothes that change! Or my girlfriend's clothes that change like the model at the end ;-)
Thesis A submitted!
It has been a hectic week. But now I'm almost free :)
Woke up at 9 after sleeping at 2am...proofread my thesis A two more times before I drove out to uni...only to discover that the student office was closed due to budget cuts. As a result I went to work. There I found Jasper, discovered some crappy printing problem with acrobat reader and my thesis and promptly played is Nintendo DS for half an hour before I went back to the student office. There I was told I just had to email it to my supervisor...
So I got home...email it and now thesis A is done!!! and I feel slightly dumber for not clarifying the submission guidelines.
What's left? A quiz for tomorrow, cryptography lab for this week, crypto seminar, thesis A presentation. It all sounds good :)
Woke up at 9 after sleeping at 2am...proofread my thesis A two more times before I drove out to uni...only to discover that the student office was closed due to budget cuts. As a result I went to work. There I found Jasper, discovered some crappy printing problem with acrobat reader and my thesis and promptly played is Nintendo DS for half an hour before I went back to the student office. There I was told I just had to email it to my supervisor...
So I got home...email it and now thesis A is done!!! and I feel slightly dumber for not clarifying the submission guidelines.
What's left? A quiz for tomorrow, cryptography lab for this week, crypto seminar, thesis A presentation. It all sounds good :)
06 October, 2006
Family Planning Advice
Just something I saw on the net today...I'll post some more soon after I finish my thesis A.
02 October, 2006
Life Evaluation Part I
Ummm, yeah it's Elvis here. Calvin, sorry to invade your blog, but I wrote this whole rant on my own blog and when I was just about to publish it, I realised that I didn't want to put it up on my blog. It's a bloody long post so I didn't want to just delete it. So here goes:
"As I have had more than enough time these past few days to reflect on everything - my life: past, present and future - I realised that it leaves more questions that answers. It's funny how one moment, all the pieces of the puzzle seem to fit so perfectly, fitting and slotting where they are meant to be, to create a picture of completeness. Then at the blink of an eye, those pieces don't fit so well anymore, and the edges just seem sharp and jagged. Well, my life is a bit like that at the moment, but it feels like I'm losing more and more of the puzzle parts day by day. Yes, coming here is supposed to open me to unlimited opportunity; yes, I should be meeting tonnes of people and getting very involved in the whole uni life; yes, it's the perfect time for me to experience new things and I have a whole city out there to explore.
But what do I do instead? None of those things . . . it's not that I don't want to. I'm just victim of a horrible attribute of personality - I just can't be BOTHERED. I'm sure those of you who know me well also know that I'm not a very outdoorsy type of person - I'm really not into seeing the tourist attractions (I haven't even been to Buckingham Palace yet - saw it at the beginning of the year and once was enough). And the whole getting involved with uni - travelling an hour and bit each way to uni does nothing to improve my mood so as soon as my classes are finished, I just wanna leave.
I'm trying hard not to sound like a snob, but I'm not even gonna bother introducing myself to people with whom I know I wouldn't be friends - why impart so many words on someone who I wouldn't even glance at if I was back in Sydney? I had a few of those meaningless conversations already in my classes and I really don't wanna repeat my life story one more time. It seems silly to try and be friends with someone just because circumstance just so happens to put you in the same place as the other person, especially if you have nothing in common and every word that comes out of your mouth as part of your conversation has to be carefully articulated to hid the huge undertones of boredom and indifference. And so far, I haven't met anyone who I can see as a genuine friend. I don't know if it's the English accent or whatever, but a lot of the people in my classes seem like they have a pole shoved up their backside - that just gets me so annoyed and when I get annoyed . . . hahaha best beware. I think it comes down to the all-important "click" factor. There needs to be that initial "click" for me to bond with someone - hahaha I remember having this conversation with someone when we were discussing guys but I guess it works with friends too. If I have to actually consciously think of what I am going to say next when I'm speaking with someone I just met, then I know it won't work. If there isn't that initial flow, then it ain't happening. I'm not being fussy but that I think I'm just too old to keep up appearances. I'm not here to impress anyone . . . Some of you might say that I am taking a very cynical approach to all of this but I'm a very paranoid person so I'm sick of being made to feel that I'm being judged, especially by people I meet for the very first time. It might sound weird, but it's very hard for me to be "me" around people. I feel like I have to put on this act and I know that it makes me a very boring person as I am very guarded with what I say and how I behave.
Actually I think I can pinpoint exactly why I feel so crabby - nearly a month here now and I have only really bought two things. Being in London and not being able to spend . . . I feel as useless as someone who has had all their limbs cut off and tossed into the ocean. I don't think I can handle studying and working while I'm over here, so that seriously hinders my ability to carry out an activity which defines my life and is the whole point of my existence.
I can't wait for this year to be over and done with, so my life can once again be returned to normality."
When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored.
- Eric Hoffer
"As I have had more than enough time these past few days to reflect on everything - my life: past, present and future - I realised that it leaves more questions that answers. It's funny how one moment, all the pieces of the puzzle seem to fit so perfectly, fitting and slotting where they are meant to be, to create a picture of completeness. Then at the blink of an eye, those pieces don't fit so well anymore, and the edges just seem sharp and jagged. Well, my life is a bit like that at the moment, but it feels like I'm losing more and more of the puzzle parts day by day. Yes, coming here is supposed to open me to unlimited opportunity; yes, I should be meeting tonnes of people and getting very involved in the whole uni life; yes, it's the perfect time for me to experience new things and I have a whole city out there to explore.
But what do I do instead? None of those things . . . it's not that I don't want to. I'm just victim of a horrible attribute of personality - I just can't be BOTHERED. I'm sure those of you who know me well also know that I'm not a very outdoorsy type of person - I'm really not into seeing the tourist attractions (I haven't even been to Buckingham Palace yet - saw it at the beginning of the year and once was enough). And the whole getting involved with uni - travelling an hour and bit each way to uni does nothing to improve my mood so as soon as my classes are finished, I just wanna leave.
I'm trying hard not to sound like a snob, but I'm not even gonna bother introducing myself to people with whom I know I wouldn't be friends - why impart so many words on someone who I wouldn't even glance at if I was back in Sydney? I had a few of those meaningless conversations already in my classes and I really don't wanna repeat my life story one more time. It seems silly to try and be friends with someone just because circumstance just so happens to put you in the same place as the other person, especially if you have nothing in common and every word that comes out of your mouth as part of your conversation has to be carefully articulated to hid the huge undertones of boredom and indifference. And so far, I haven't met anyone who I can see as a genuine friend. I don't know if it's the English accent or whatever, but a lot of the people in my classes seem like they have a pole shoved up their backside - that just gets me so annoyed and when I get annoyed . . . hahaha best beware. I think it comes down to the all-important "click" factor. There needs to be that initial "click" for me to bond with someone - hahaha I remember having this conversation with someone when we were discussing guys but I guess it works with friends too. If I have to actually consciously think of what I am going to say next when I'm speaking with someone I just met, then I know it won't work. If there isn't that initial flow, then it ain't happening. I'm not being fussy but that I think I'm just too old to keep up appearances. I'm not here to impress anyone . . . Some of you might say that I am taking a very cynical approach to all of this but I'm a very paranoid person so I'm sick of being made to feel that I'm being judged, especially by people I meet for the very first time. It might sound weird, but it's very hard for me to be "me" around people. I feel like I have to put on this act and I know that it makes me a very boring person as I am very guarded with what I say and how I behave.
Actually I think I can pinpoint exactly why I feel so crabby - nearly a month here now and I have only really bought two things. Being in London and not being able to spend . . . I feel as useless as someone who has had all their limbs cut off and tossed into the ocean. I don't think I can handle studying and working while I'm over here, so that seriously hinders my ability to carry out an activity which defines my life and is the whole point of my existence.
I can't wait for this year to be over and done with, so my life can once again be returned to normality."
When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored.
- Eric Hoffer
01 October, 2006
Thesis A,, Educational Procrastination, Kung fu blues and Yum Cha
Lets start with the foremost thing on my mind - the impending deadline for my thesis A. I've done bits of the instroduction but not enough. This is mainly because...
...I kept procrastinating by playing violin. I must have been averaging about 3 hours a day? Way more than I did even when I had my exams. i am still addicted to the Melody of Oblivion soundtrack. I've memorised about 5 tracks now...this sense of accomplishment is bad though, since it encourages me to play more...*sigh*
And like that, Sunday kung fu arrived again. We had the same sparring that had become the staple in the recent weeks, and its sooo fun! Why kung fu blues? No I'm not sad, perhaps this comic will explain it.
After Kung fu, Pat and I went to Yum Cha with the Wong Clan (except Alex, but the honor of the oldest of the young Wongs - Charmaine). Here's some pictures of it for fun (of course Pat refuses to be in ANY photos not taken by a professional SLR :P).
Julian, the vegetarian, HAD to have noodles *shakes head*...and here's Cybele demonstrating her spork skills.
Mango pancakes...yum to think about...but not so yum to taste.
Teamwork is the key to getting a shot of Cybele getting hit.
Mango pudding...seems to be more pleasing than the Mango Pancakes.
A death stare of some sort. Someone must have eaten her dim sim.
Julian's T-shirt! I hate you! :)
...I kept procrastinating by playing violin. I must have been averaging about 3 hours a day? Way more than I did even when I had my exams. i am still addicted to the Melody of Oblivion soundtrack. I've memorised about 5 tracks now...this sense of accomplishment is bad though, since it encourages me to play more...*sigh*
And like that, Sunday kung fu arrived again. We had the same sparring that had become the staple in the recent weeks, and its sooo fun! Why kung fu blues? No I'm not sad, perhaps this comic will explain it.
After Kung fu, Pat and I went to Yum Cha with the Wong Clan (except Alex, but the honor of the oldest of the young Wongs - Charmaine). Here's some pictures of it for fun (of course Pat refuses to be in ANY photos not taken by a professional SLR :P).
Julian, the vegetarian, HAD to have noodles *shakes head*...and here's Cybele demonstrating her spork skills.
Mango pancakes...yum to think about...but not so yum to taste.
Teamwork is the key to getting a shot of Cybele getting hit.
Mango pudding...seems to be more pleasing than the Mango Pancakes.
A death stare of some sort. Someone must have eaten her dim sim.
Julian's T-shirt! I hate you! :)
27 September, 2006
White1 to White6, Doomsday Melodies and Snitzel Challenge.
The title pretty much covered the three things I did.
I woke up nice and early at 8 (ARGH why!!!) and again determined to get something done. As luck would have it, one of my group members for cryptography popped online and asked me about setup up the cluster for the lab . After an hour or so, the computers in the White lab (there's Black and White labs) were all connected to the hub network, hence enabling a successful smurfing attack! Happiness++. Now all I need to do is the attack question.
After lunch, I wanted to work on my thesis A report, which to my horror was due on the 10th October! But my eyes were already tired from this morning so I went to play some violin. A tune's been haunting me in my dreams and it comes from the soundtrack - its called Tears in the Dam (Right-click to save), from the Melody of Oblivion soundtrack (the anime was crap but the soundtrack is hauntingly good). Without knowing it I had spent the entire afternoon playing songs from it. I'm sure my music teachers over the years would have been delighted to know that I've been using the years of classical training to transpose anime soundtracks!
Having lost track of time, I left myself barely enough time to get showered and hop out to dinner at 6. I made it though, bumped into some old friends at Wynyard and then the gang from Whitesmiths showed up. By gang I mean all the 'kids' under 25 at Whitesmiths - Emma, Geoffery + Girlfriend, Yuliana, Edmond (one of the second year coops), with the exception of Agnes who didn't come! Sunny and Margaret were away at uni games.
We went to the Bavarian Beer Cafe for the Tuesday night Chicken Snitzel Challenge. Got fat. That was pretty much it :) We disbanded quickly after a quick stop at Krispy Kremes for Emma (that girl definitely has a sweet tooth!). As for me, after the accompanying schnapps (it was stronger than I thought it'd be) I wasn't up for a long walk across the bridge, so I trained it home...and fell asleep soon after.
I woke up nice and early at 8 (ARGH why!!!) and again determined to get something done. As luck would have it, one of my group members for cryptography popped online and asked me about setup up the cluster for the lab . After an hour or so, the computers in the White lab (there's Black and White labs) were all connected to the hub network, hence enabling a successful smurfing attack! Happiness++. Now all I need to do is the attack question.
After lunch, I wanted to work on my thesis A report, which to my horror was due on the 10th October! But my eyes were already tired from this morning so I went to play some violin. A tune's been haunting me in my dreams and it comes from the soundtrack - its called Tears in the Dam (Right-click to save), from the Melody of Oblivion soundtrack (the anime was crap but the soundtrack is hauntingly good). Without knowing it I had spent the entire afternoon playing songs from it. I'm sure my music teachers over the years would have been delighted to know that I've been using the years of classical training to transpose anime soundtracks!
Having lost track of time, I left myself barely enough time to get showered and hop out to dinner at 6. I made it though, bumped into some old friends at Wynyard and then the gang from Whitesmiths showed up. By gang I mean all the 'kids' under 25 at Whitesmiths - Emma, Geoffery + Girlfriend, Yuliana, Edmond (one of the second year coops), with the exception of Agnes who didn't come! Sunny and Margaret were away at uni games.
We went to the Bavarian Beer Cafe for the Tuesday night Chicken Snitzel Challenge. Got fat. That was pretty much it :) We disbanded quickly after a quick stop at Krispy Kremes for Emma (that girl definitely has a sweet tooth!). As for me, after the accompanying schnapps (it was stronger than I thought it'd be) I wasn't up for a long walk across the bridge, so I trained it home...and fell asleep soon after.
26 September, 2006
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